Oopsy Daisy

Well, to be honest, I guess no one said this intuitive eating/f*ck it eating lifestyle would be easy. I've been tempted by the wolf in sheep's clothing of diets more than once.  It is not easy to undo nearly half a century of programming. And let me tell you, I have been really, really tempted by diets, even
going so far as to plan them in my head. I haven't done any of them, mind you, because it's just so much work, and I like food, and I don't like restriction.

I did not make a New Year's resolution to lose weight. What I did do was decide that I might like to feel healthier and more balanced, so I'll work toward that. What that looks like is this:

I am making three micro-resolutions each month, one for home, one for health, one for other. Focusing on small steps for a month at a time makes it much more manageable, much more doable. "They" say it takes 21 days to build a new habit, so by giving these micro-resolutions a month,  I should be good by the time I move to the next one. I tucked "home" and "other" resolutions in there because there are a number of things I have been letting slide in the last few months, and this might help me build better habits altogether.

My current resolutions are as follows:
1. set a timer for 10 minutes each night, and have all of us (me and my teens) clean something/declutter (home).
2. Get more sleep each night, with an absolute minimum of seven hours (health).
3. Remember my reusable bags when I go out grocery shopping (other).

Think about that... by the end of the year, if all goes well, that's THIRTY SIX new habits that I have instilled in myself. And it won't require any sort of drastic overhauling of my entire life.

In other news, we made it through our first round of holidays since my husband's death. It was different, and I did cry a lot, but I discovered Nora McInerny, and her books are helping a lot. We also had some good fun, and a lot of laughter, over said holidays, so I think we'll make it through. I feel generally calmer about things, which I take as very positive. We saw the new Star Wars movie on Christmas Day, and went out to dinner. We saw the new Little Women movie on Boxing Day. We paid an obligatory visit to my [former] mother-in-law (for what it's worth, she has never liked any of us, and last time we were there, she told my kids - who are 18 and 16, mind you - that she wants them to hurry up and provide her with some great-grand-babies that she will in all likelihood ignore just like she ignored them except at Christmas).

I went running yesterday. Which I have done dozens of times before, always with the C25K (Couch Potato to 5k) program chirping away in my ear, and which I have almost always slogged through in resentment. But, yesterday was different. I did not, and do not, have that app on my phone anymore, just as I no longer have MyFitnessPal, MapMyRun, or anything of the sort. The only app I have is the health app that came with the phone, that simply lets me know if I did less than nothing each day, or conversely got in so much movement that my phone is in disbelief. So I just went my regular walking route, running when I felt like it, walking when I felt like it. And at the end, instead of feeling worn out and resentful, I felt good! Amazing how different it was without someone ordering me to run and walk.

I also went hiking with my son. It was a short hike, maybe an hour, across the side of a windy, muddy mountain, but it was beautiful and awesome. And we went out to the coast, all three of us, for New Year's Day, and watched the waves crashing down so hard we could feel the spray from 10 feet away.

Additionally, in my journey to reclaim myself, I bought pants that fit, and stopped wearing most makeup. Makeup is fun, but if I feel I have to do it, it's not so fun anymore. I've also started really looking at what other women my size are wearing, so I can get some good fashion tips.

And that's my way of catching up. I'm listening to The F*ck It Diet on Audible - yes, again - so I will be getting back to my prompts.